"You can't go back to how things were, or how you thought they were supposed to be. All you really have is now. The smartest thing you can control in life is your reaction to what's beyond your control. Dwelling on negativity from the past simply contributes to its power. So stop focusing on what happened and start focusing on what's going to move you forward."

~ Melchor Lim

"Our eyes are in front because it is better to look ahead than to look back. Don't dwell on things on the past. Learn from them and keep moving forward."

~ Unknown

One of the most important things that I have learned from 12 Step Recovery Programs which have helped me through the last 19 years of my life is that

"Acceptance IS the answer to all my problems!

The Recovery Basic Guide is the book "Alcoholics Anonymous",

commonly called the Big Book. On page 417, 4th edition, it says;

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

I will practice acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were. ~Deepak Chopra (AzQuotes)

All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.

~ Eckhart Tolle (AZ Quotes)

Negativity consumed my beginnings in life. My thinking soon became "Stinking Thinking", most of the thoughts that I thought were negative. I was a great pretender that all was well with me while becoming a master magician creating illusions or internalizing things that had no substance and were blatantly untrue but I believed then one and all. I lived what the Bible cautions us against: Proverbs 14:12There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. My stinking thinking was one of the ways of death, my death, for it led me into the deepest depression, into psychoses, and into 4 mental and emotional breakdowns. I existed in a troubled life of quiet desperation and despair, somehow, always hoping that someone, somewhere, would see that I was in trouble and offer to help me.

Dr. David Burns helped me as much as anyone. Website https://feelinggood.com/

His sharing on a blog, 9 Negative Thoughts That Are Sabotaging Your Wellness Goals,

amply described my Stinking Thinking!

https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/How-Stop-Negative-Thoughts-43019339

https://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/depression-12/depression-news-176/overcoming-negative-thinking-645055.html

https://mrsmindfulness.com/the-four-keys-to-overcoming-negative-thinkingfor-good/

https://www.positivityblog.com/overcome-negative-thoughts/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shyness-is-nice/201305/stop-fighting-your-negative-thoughts

HELPS FOR STOPPING SELF-SABOTAGE

Signs of Self Sabotage

http://thefordinstitute.com/selfsabotagequiz/

http://How To Banish Self Destructive Behaviors - Chris Cade