Developmental milestones: Ages 3 through 5

Knowing what to expect as your child grows can reassure you that your child is on track with his peers or alert you to potential concerns. Below are some milestones to watch for during the preschool years.

By Joyce Destefanis, M.A., Nancy Firchow, M.L.S.

Since birth, you've watched your child grow and develop. You've noted his height and weight, when he crawled, stood, and walked, even when he spoke his first words — and perhaps compared all of these milestones of his infant and toddler years to the "norms." The preschool and early school years are also full of changes. From three to five your child's motor skills, language, thinking, and social development change dramatically.

Milestones: 3-Year-Olds

Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills

walks with an agile, almost adult style
runs around obstacles
catches large balls and throws overhead
climbs ladders; uses slide independently
rides a tricycle
alternates feet when climbing stairs

Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills

assembles simple puzzles
manipulates clay; finger paints
copies simple shapes, such as a cross or circle
stacks blocks up to nine high

Language and Thinking Development

understands most of what is said and 75 percent of speech is understandable
speaks in complete sentences of three to five words
matches pictures to objects
learns by doing and through the senses
understands concepts of "now," "soon," and "later"
begins to recognize cause-and-effect relationships

Social and Emotional Development

follows simple directions; enjoys helping with household tasks
begins to recognize own limits — asks for help
likes to play alone, but near other children
does not cooperate or share well
able to make choices between two things
begins to notice other people's moods and feelings

Tips for Parenting 3-Year-Olds

No longer a toddler, your 3-year-old takes in knowledge about himself and the world around him.

Transitions are difficult at this age. Provide warning of changes so your child has time to shift gears: "We're leaving in 10 minutes."
Rituals are important. Household routines and schedules give your 3-year-old a sense of security.
Point out colors and numbers in the course of everyday conversation: "You're wearing your blue shirt" or "We made six cupcakes."
Encourage independent activity to build self-reliance.
Provide lots of sensory experiences for learning and developing coordination — sand, mud, finger paints, puzzles.

Milestones: 4-Year-Olds

Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills

running is more controlled; can start, stop, and turn
turns somersaults; hops on one foot; gallops
can easily catch, throw, and bounce a ball
can brush teeth, comb hair, wash, and dress with little assistance

Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills

copies crosses and squares
prints some letters
uses table utensils skillfully
cuts on a line

Language and Thinking Development

uses a 1,500-word vocabulary; speaks in relatively complex sentences ("Mommy opened the door and the dog ran out.")
understands words that relate one idea to another — if, why, when
continues to learn through experience and the senses
understands, mostly, the difference between fantasy and reality
understands number and space concepts — more, less, bigger, in, under, behind
thinks literally; starting to develop logical thinking
begins to grasp that pictures and symbols can represent real objects
starts to recognize patterns among objects — round things, soft things, animals
grasps the concepts of past, present, and future but does not understand the duration of time

Social and Emotional Development

takes turns, shares, and cooperates
expresses anger verbally rather than physically
can feel jealousy
may sometimes lie to protect herself, but understands the concept of lying
enjoys pretending and has a vivid imagination

Tips for Parenting 4-Year-Olds

Silly, imaginative, and energetic, your child loves to try new words and new activities.

4-year-olds crave adult approval. Provide lots of positive encouragement.
Display calendars and analog clocks to help your child visualize the concept of time.
Play word games to develop his growing vocabulary; overlook his fascination with bad words.
Offer opportunities for sorting, matching, counting, and comparing.
Provide lots of play space and occasions to play with other kids.

Milestones: 5-Year-Olds

Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills

runs in an adult manner
walks on tiptoe, broad jumps
walks on a balance beam
skates and jumps rope

Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills

hand preference is established
laces (but cannot tie) shoes
grasps pencil like an adult
colors within lines
cuts and pastes simple shapes

Language and Thinking Development

speaks fluently; correctly uses plurals, pronouns, tenses
very interested in words and language; seeks knowledge
understands and names opposites
uses complex language
still confuses fantasy and reality at times
thinking is still naïve; doesn't use adult logic

Social and Emotional Development

distinguishes right from wrong, honest from dishonest, but does not recognize intent
plays make-believe and dresses up
mimics adults and seeks praise
seeks to play rather than be alone; friends are important
plays with both boys and girls but prefers the same sex
wants to conform; may criticize those who do not

Tips for Parenting 5-Year-Olds

Your cooperative, easy-going 5-year-old loves to play and that's how he learns.

Join in activities that develop coordination and balance — skipping and hopping, walking on the curb or crack in the sidewalk, or climbing trees.
Encourage fine motor skills by letting your child cut pictures out of magazines, string beads, or play with take-apart, put-together toys.
Take advantage of his interest in numbers by counting anything and everything; teach simple addition and subtraction by using objects, not numerals.
Let your child know what to expect from an upcoming event or activity so he can prepare. Avoid springing things on him.
Help him recognize his emotions by using words to describe them: "I see you're angry at me right now."