coping Strategies

Coping Strategies


We know that how we think about things determines to a large degree what we experience, and this is particularly true about anger.


Here is a four-step plan for dealing with anger:

  • Take a deep breath and relax.
  • Stay calm. No sarcasm, no attacks.
  • Take a time-out. Cool off, then come back and deal with it.
  • Break it down. Anger often comes from lumping things together.


Then, repeat these thoughts to yourself:

  • I am not responsible for this person‘s feelings.
  • I am responsible for my own feelings and responses.
  • I am able to put a temporary lid on my own anger.
  • I must not judge a person until their anger has passed.


Positive self-talk often helps, too. Here are some coping mantras you can use:

  • I am responsible for what happens between us.
  • No point in blaming. I’ll try a new strategy for taking care of myself.
  • What can I do about this?
  • As long as I keep my cool, I’m in control.
  • Getting upset won’t help.
  • Easy does it—there is nothing to be gained in getting mad.
  • I’m not going to let him/her get to me.
  • I can’t change him/her with anger: I’ll just upset myself.
  • I can find a way to say what I want to without anger.
  • I can stay calm and relaxed.
  • Relax and let go. There’s no need to get my knickers in a twist.
  • No one is right. No one is wrong. We just have different needs.
  • Stay cool. Make no judgments.
  • No matter what is said, I know I’m a good person.
  • I’ll stay rational. Anger won’t solve anything.
  • Let them look all foolish and upset. I can stay calm and cool.
  • His/her opinion isn’t important. I won’t be pushed into losing my cool.
  • Bottom line, I’m in control. I’m out of here rather than stay or do something dumb.
  • Some situations don’t have good solutions. Looks like this is one of them. No use getting all bent out of shape about it.
  • It’s just a hassle. Nothing more, nothing less. I can cope with hassles.
  • Good. I’m getting better at this anger management stuff.
  • I got angry but I kept the lid on saying dumb things. That’s progress.
  • It’s just not worth it to get so angry.
  • Anger means it’s time to relax and cope.