One misty autumn morning in 1980, Ms. Williams was conceived from the remnants of fairy dust fluttering though the brilliant, rust-hued sky. This bustling bundle of joy was far superior to all other babies born in the small suburb of Rancho Cucamonga, California, and grew to be an exceptionally gifted child. She frequently used her advanced skills to school the the other children on the playground with her mad see-sawing and sliding skills. Eventuallly, her advanced knowledge of playground etiquette, combined with her extra-human badmitton capabilities earned her a full academic and sports scholarship to USC. After graduating, Ms. Williams joined the all-girl pop punk band Suckerpunch, toured a few states, and eventually settled in Chicago, Illinois afte her index finger was injured in a stage-diving injury, and she could no longer play bass guitar. The abrupt end of her state disability checks forced her to flee the U.S. to Venezuela, and take up a job as an English teacher. Go figure.